My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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