The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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