Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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(850): View more from Florida

Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?

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(516): View more from New York

this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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(949): View more from California

i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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(516): View more from New York

No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.

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(585): View more from New York

Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...

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