My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
