That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
