This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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