And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
