Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
