belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i barfeds in our rink
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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