All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
