Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
"it" just moved
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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