Screwed.edu
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
even my farts smell like vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
