she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
