what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
