We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
