Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
