She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
