It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
