honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
