i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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