I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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