Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
