I faked an abortion last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
