From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
