THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
