I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
