why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
