maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
