Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
