I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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