My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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