O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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