During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I look better un-naked...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize