garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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