I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We had to coat check the pizza.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
