why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
