is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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