THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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