yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
