I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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