Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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