id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
