you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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