YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
