just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I will be naked everywhere
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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