Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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