I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
