Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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