No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
