God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
