I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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