According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All I want is dick and wine.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
