Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize