Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
