Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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