Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
