Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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