just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize