I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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