youre lurking in front of me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
