whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we're making bets on your personal life
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
