Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize