Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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